"I meant Esmee poor girl," May said, "Not Frances." Oh, I thought," Martha said in a whisper, "With some lipstick." And rouge," May agreed."With that long straggly girly hair," Martha agreed, "Styled nicely." If he wore shorts maybe?" May suggested."Woah!" I protested."It would be much easier," Martha suggested."It's a lovely soft bed," May agreed."You want me to dress like a girl?" I asked."Um, yes, would you mind terribly?" Martha asked."Only shorts when you're not wearing jeans," May said, "Just a touch of lipstick." It would be so much easier," Martha agreed."No way!" I protested."But you said you would do anything!" Martha reminded me."I meant chores!" I explained."Well think of this as a chore," May chuckled, "I'll get my powder compact."I looked at Martha, "You're not serious surely?" I asked."My sister is very religious," Martha said, "She idolises Pastor Taylour, it's best to humour her." Ok," I agreed, "I wouldn't want to make it awkward for her," I sighed, "But you can't. He was boring as hell, telling us all to cheer when the APPLAUSE sign came on over head, and to laugh as much as we wanted. He told us that the show we'd be participating in would be taped for later broadcast, in about two weeks. Before he could say anything else, Slappy and Happy surrounded him, pulled out seltzer bottles and doused him with fizzy water. The audience erupted in laughter, perfect preparation for the announcer's voice, which bellowed, "Who makes you laugh, boys and girls?" Without prompting, we all shouted "Ruffles!"Ruffles came out to enthusiastic applause and cheering. The double back flip didn't hurt. His voice had an electronic tone, as if it was being run through some kind of synthesizer. That disguised the actor and made every Ruffles sound alike. Quite high tech.Ruffles must have studied gymnastics or something close, because every almost pratfall turned into a handstand or cartwheel or backflip. Ruffles was extremely agile and in great shape. No wonder the.
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